Grief is one of the most universal yet misunderstood human experiences. Whether you’re mourning the loss of a parent, spouse, child, sibling, or close friend, the journey through grief is profoundly personal and often longer and more complex than many expect. In these emotional moments, we often hear the same question: “How long should grief last?” This blog post is here to offer compassion, clarity, and comfort while also debunking some persistent myths about grieving.
The Myth of the Grief Timeline
There’s a common belief that grief should follow a neat, linear path and that by six months or a year, most people “move on.” This idea is not only inaccurate; it can also be harmful.
Truth: Grief doesn’t have an expiration date.
For many, grief changes shape over time. It may lessen in intensity, but it doesn’t simply “end.” Some days are harder than others, even years later. And for those who have lost someone deeply important, a part of that grief may stay with them for life in different ways.
The 5 Stages of Grief: Misunderstood
Elisabeth Kübler-Ross’s five stages of grief—denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance—were originally meant to describe how people process terminal illness, not necessarily how they respond to loss. Still, these stages have become a cultural shorthand for how grief “should” unfold.
But here’s the truth:
- Not everyone experiences all five stages.
- They don’t happen in order.
- You may return to some stages again and again.
Understanding that grief is nonlinear can help people be kinder to themselves or others who are grieving “differently.”
Common Myths About Grief
Myth 1: You Should Feel Better After the Funeral
Reality: While funerals and memorial services are designed to bring families and communities together for a sense of closure, they often mark the beginning, not the end, of the grieving process. The days leading up to the funeral are filled with activity, decisions, and support from friends and family. But once the final ceremony ends and everyone goes home, many mourners find themselves overwhelmed by a new wave of loneliness and sorrow.
This is especially true for those tasked with final arrangements, such as selecting a headstone, planning a memorial service, or managing estate affairs. At Tegeler Monument Company, we often meet people during this vulnerable stage, when the reality of the loss has fully set in. That’s why it’s so important to understand that grief doesn’t end when the guests leave; it evolves.
Myth 2: If You’re Still Sad After a Year, Something’s Wrong
Reality: There is no timeline for grief. The idea that you should “be over it” in a set amount of time, whether six months, a year, or even two, is both harmful and false. Grief is a lifelong process of adaptation, not a race to recovery.
For some, a year after losing a spouse, parent, or child may still feel as raw as the day it happened. Anniversaries, holidays, and milestones can reawaken pain even after years have passed. This is not a sign of weakness, depression, or dysfunction. It reflects deep and lasting love and connection.
If your sorrow persists, it doesn’t mean something is wrong with you. It means something meaningful was lost. Allow yourself to grieve at your own pace, without judgment.
Myth 3: Getting Rid of Belongings Helps You “Let Go”
Reality: Sorting through a loved one’s belongings, such as clothes, books, keepsakes, photos, is one of the most emotional steps in the grieving process. Well-meaning friends or relatives might encourage you to “clear things out” as a way to move on, but there is no deadline or correct timeline for this step.
Some people find peace and healing in creating a memory box, donating clothes to charity, or placing special items near a loved one’s headstone or memorial bench. Others may choose to leave their room untouched for months, or even years, because it’s too painful to face right away.
Letting go doesn’t have to mean forgetting. Keep what you need to keep, for as long as you need to keep it. Grief is personal, and your decisions should honor both your loved one’s memory and your own healing.
Myth 4: Time Heals All Wounds
Reality: Time alone doesn’t heal grief; it’s what you do with that time that can promote healing. While the intensity of grief often softens as months or years pass, that doesn’t mean the pain disappears. In fact, without support or meaningful rituals, grief can become more isolating with time.
Healing comes from action:
- Seeking grief counseling or support groups
- Sharing stories with friends or family
- Creating a custom granite headstone, bronze plaque, or family monument that gives your grief a place to rest
- Visiting a loved one’s grave and reflecting on their life and legacy
- Allowing yourself joy and connection again without guilt
Why Memorialization Matters in the Grieving Process
Creating a lasting tribute, like a custom headstone, upright monument, or bronze memorial plaque, can play a powerful role in grief healing. For families in Baltimore, Annapolis, Frederick, D.C., Arlington, and beyond, choosing a personalized headstone or grave marker gives shape and permanence to remembrance.
At Tegeler Monument Company, we’ve seen firsthand how meaningful it can be to:
- Visit a memorial regularly as a place for reflection and connection
- Engrave words or symbols that capture the spirit of your loved one
- Create a headstone design with custom granite or marble materials unique to your family’s heritage or aesthetic
These acts offer ongoing comfort and help people stay connected to those they’ve lost.
What Healthy Grief Can Look Like
Grief is more than just sadness; it’s a full-body, multi-dimensional experience that affects your emotions, mind, and physical well-being. You might feel anxiety, anger, guilt, confusion, numbness, or even physical exhaustion. Some days you may cry uncontrollably, while on others, you may laugh at fond memories. Research even shows that up to 10% of grieving individuals may experience prolonged or complicated grief that significantly impacts daily functioning. All of this is normal.
Grieving is not about “getting over” a loved one’s death. Instead, it’s about learning to live with the loss, rebuilding your life around the space they once filled.
Over time, most people find that their grief becomes less overwhelming and more integrated into the rhythm of everyday life. This doesn’t mean forgetting—it means adapting, while still honoring the love and memories.
Signs of adapting to grief in healthy ways may include:
- Being able to talk about your loved one without overwhelming pain or panic
- Reconnecting with work, friends, or hobbies you once enjoyed
- Participating in holiday traditions while incorporating new rituals or moments of remembrance
- Visiting your loved one’s headstone, memorial bench, or engraved monument as a personal place of peace
- Finding purpose through volunteering, spiritual practice, creative outlets, or support roles for others who are grieving
Still, if your grief feels paralyzing, if you feel stuck, or if you’re having difficulty managing daily tasks months or years after a loss, know that you are not alone. Support is available, and seeking help is not a sign of weakness; it’s an act of courage and love.
Grief Support Resources in the Mid-Atlantic Region
Whether you’re preparing for a memorial service or have recently chosen a headstone or grave marker in Maryland, Washington D.C., Virginia, or Pennsylvania, you don’t have to walk through grief alone. There are many trusted grief and bereavement resources available across the region.
Here are a few support organizations, counseling services, and community grief programs available to help you or your family navigate this difficult time:
Maryland
- Hospice of the Chesapeake: Offers grief support groups, one-on-one counseling, and family programs in Anne Arundel and Prince George’s Counties.
- Gilchrist Grief Services – Baltimore: Free grief counseling and support groups, including specialized services for children and caregivers.
- Roberta’s House – Baltimore: A family grief support center focused on urban communities, offering age-specific and culturally responsive programs.
Washington D.C.
- Wendt Center for Loss and Healing: Provides professional grief counseling, crisis response, and trauma-informed therapy for individuals and families in D.C.
- Capital Caring Health: Offers in-person and virtual grief support services to anyone in the D.C. Metro region, regardless of whether they used hospice services.
Virginia
- Full Circle Grief Center – Richmond: Provides individual grief counseling and group sessions for adults, teens, and children.
- Capital Caring Health – Northern Virginia: Offers local support groups, virtual grief therapy, and memorial events open to the public.
Pennsylvania
- Highmark Caring Place: Free support programs for grieving children and families in Pittsburgh, Erie, and Central PA.
- Center for Loss and Bereavement – Skippack, PA: Offers therapy, family sessions, and peer grief support groups.
- UPMC Family Hospice Grief Support: Serves western PA residents with counseling and bereavement events.
National Support (Accessible from Anywhere)
- GriefShare: Faith-based grief recovery groups offered in-person and online across the U.S.
- Dougy Center: National center for grieving children and families, with free online toolkits and guides.
- What’s Your Grief: Online grief education and community with articles, courses, and self-paced programs.
Conclusion: Grief Has No Deadline, and That’s Okay
If you’re reading this while mourning someone dear to you, know this: Grief is not something to get over; it’s something to move forward with.
Whether your loss was recent or years ago, whether you cry every day or only when certain songs play, your experience is valid. You are not alone. And when the time comes to honor that person’s life, Tegeler Monument Company is here to help you create a permanent, beautiful tribute that matches their legacy.
Contact Tegeler Monument Company
Whether you need guidance on choosing a headstone in Baltimore, a memorial plaque in D.C., or a cemetery monument in Virginia or Pennsylvania, we’re here for you every step of the way. Let us help you tell their story beautifully, meaningfully, and with love. Contact us today to get started or call (410) 944-0300.